Awesome Quotes

Awesome Quotes….

 

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UNIX is simple. But It just needs a genius to understand its simplicity.

-Dennis Ritchie

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Before software can be reusable, it first has to be usable.

—Ralph Johnson

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Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.

-Fred Brooks

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It's hard enough to find an error in your code when you're looking for it;

It's even harder when you've assumed your code is error-free.

-Steve McConnell

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The trouble with the world is that the stupid are sure,

and the intelligent are full of doubt.

-Bertrand Russell

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(This is the best 1.....)

If debugging is the process of removing bugs,

Then programming must be the process of putting them in..

-Edsger Dijkstra

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You can either have software quality or you can have pointer arithmetic;

You cannot have both at the same time.

–Bertrand Meyer

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There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third works.

-Alan J. Perlis

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Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring

aircraft building progress by weight.

-Bill Gates

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The first 90% of the code accounts for the first 90% of the development time.

The remaining 10% of the code accounts for the other 90% of the development time.

-Tom Cargill

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Programmers are in a race with the Universe to create bigger and better idiot-proof programs.

The Universe is trying to create bigger and better idiots.

So far the Universe is winning.

-Anonymous

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Theory is when you know something, but it doesn't work.

Practice is when something works, but you don't know why it works.

Programmers combine Theory and Practice:

Nothing works and they don't know why.

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The Six Phases of a Project:

·        Enthusiasm

·        Disillusionment

·        Panic

·        Search for the Guilty

·        Punishment of the Innocent

·        Praise for non-participants

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Three Wishes

Once an angel appears before a girl & grants her 3 wishes.

Under the condtion that her boyfriend gets 10 times what she gets.

The girl asks these 3 wishes:

1. "I must be rich."

This made her boy friend 10 times richer

2. "I must become very beautiful."

This made her boyfriend extremely handsome

3. And ...... "I must get a mild heart attack!!!"

Moral of the story - Girls are extremely SMART.

 

Story ends here for girls.

Boys read on....

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The boy friend gets a heart  attack 10 times milder!!! :D :D :D :D :D

Actual moral - Girls think they are smart. But they are stupid.

Rajini Rocks!!!

Rajnikant rocks.. JJJ  
1.  Once a big stone obstructed Rajani's way.
He kicked high in sky and now it is so called
.
.
.
.The MOON
 


 
2.  Once when shooting on a beach in Tamil Nadu, Rajanikant kicked a stone..
Now that stone is known as
.
.
.
SRI LANKA
 
 
3.  Rajinikant participated in 100 meter race and obviously he came first...
But Einstein died after watching that...
bcoz..
.
.
.
LIGHT came second...

4.Once Rajinikant participated in Moto gp Bike race......
.
.
.
Don't even try to guess wat happened
.
.
.
Rajinikant won d race on neutral gear!
 
 

 5.  Rajinikanth doesnt breathe. Air hides in his lungs for protection.
 
 
6.  Once Rajinikant went to Bhopal for shooting and had a stomach upset.....and the result was..
.
.
.
BHOPAL GAS TRAGEDY...

  
7.  1 day Rajinikant got angry on his sweeper boy., he kicked him so hard that he went flying in the sky with is broom...
2day that boy is famous as "HARRY POTTER"...
 
 
   
 
8.  Before tom cruise,rajnikant was approached for
the movie "mission impossible"
but he refused
.
.
.
as he found the title insulting
 
 

9.  Once Rajnikanth was asked how he felt about the jokes made on him which were spreading through sms and internet.
To everyones surprise he started laughing and replied-Ennada Do you really think they are jokes?
 
 

10.  Rajni once taught a child how to play
 
counter strike and that guy is now
called..............
.
.
.
.
.
.
"OSAMA BIN LADEN"
 
 
 
11.  Once Dinosaurs borrowed money from Rajnikanth and refused to payhim back... .
.
.
.
.
.......
.
 
That was the last time anyone saw Dinosaurs
 
  

12.  Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes.


 
13.  An e-mail was sent from Pune to Mumbai
.
.
.
Rajnikant stopped it in Lonavla ... : D
 

14.  as a kid Rajnikant maintained a diary of day to day activities,
today that diary called as.
.
.
.
 
Guinness Book Of World Records


 
15.  once Rajnikan taught a kid how to enter a house without ringing the doorbell....
.
.
.
today that kid is known as inspector Daya.




 
16.  Once a boy inserted A CD named rajnikanth
into his PC...
Guess wot...
.
.
.
.His PC started Rotating around the CD rom


 
17.  Intel's new tag line for its processors ...
.
.
.
"Rajnikanth Inside"
 

18.  Rajnikant's school time homework is now known as
.
.
.
wikipedia  
 

19.  Rajnikant was caught on d highway for speeding................
.
.
.
While walking



 
20.  Once Rajnikant taught a boy how to kiss. Now that boy is known as '.
.
.
.
Emran Hashmi'
 

21.  When Rajinikant croses the Road, the cars have to look
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
left and right before moving.
 

22.  After release of Robot, Rajnikanth gave Times of India 3 stars.
 

23. Rajnikanth goes to court and sentences the judge...
 
 

24.  Rajnikanth kills harry potter in the 8th book.
 

25. Rajnikanth can kill Spiderman with BAYGON!!!
 

26. Time and tide, wait for Rajnikanth.....

 
 
27.  Rajnikanth was practicing for a spelling test... The rough sheet he used is known as ...
:
:
OXFORD DICTIONARY !! :D  
 

28.  Rajnikanth has seen the face of the fat lady who owns the house in ...
:
:
TOM and JERRY !! :D   
 

29.  If Rajnikant was born 100 years back, Britishers would have fought to get independence from India !! :) 
 
 
30.  The ultimate RAJNI fact :
 

Even GHAJINI remebers RAJNI !!!!!
 
Rajni Rox !!! :) 
 

31.  People who set CAT paper will have to pass RAT paper from this year onwards.
 
Yes RAT paper....
:
:
Rajnikant Aptitude Test !!! 

RECENTLY CHINA AIRPORTS WERE CLOSED DUE TO HEAVY FOG
        ........ LATER IT WAS DISCOVERED THAT RAJINIKANTH WAS SMOKING IN INDIA !!!!!!!!!!
 
   
*       GOVERNMENT OF INDIA PAYS TAX TO RAJINIKANTH FOR LIVING IN INDIA !!!!!!!  
 
*        DEFINITION OF SOLAR ECLIPSE:
WHEN RAJINIKANTH STARES AT SUN WITH ANGER, SUN HIDES BEHIND THE MOON. THIS GREATEST PHENOMENA IS CALLED SOLAR ECLIPSE.........!!!!!
 
*       RAJINIKANTH WOKE UP ONE DAY AND DECIDED HE SHOULD SHARE ATLEAST ONE PERCENT OF HIS KNOWLEDGE WITH THE WORLD...... THUS....................... THE GOOGLE WAS BORN!!!!
 
 
 
*       WHY DO EARTHQUAKE OCCURS?????
        BECAUSE AT THAT TIME RAJINIKANTH'S MOBILE IS ON VIBRATION MODE!!!!!!!!!
 
*       WHY DID RAJINI BUY AN ACRE OF LAND WITH 4 WELLS ON EACH CORNER?????
        ....................... TO PLAY CARROM!!!!!!

 
*       Rajnikanth’s next project. Titanic in Tamil. Climax revised. Both survive. Rajnikant swims across the Atlantic Ocean with heroine in one hand and… Titanic in the other.